4.5 Stars

Summary

This book provides a pretty solid introduction and gives tips and guidance for how to understand and explore the world of BDSM.

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Getting into BDSM, or trying to enter into a D/s relationship can be daunting. Accepting the idea that sex and sexuality for you is about more than vanilla relationships and fucking in the missionary position is just the first step. Resources such as Dom’s Guide to BDSM – Vol 1 can help point you in the right direction.

The book starts out with a sort of basic overview of the origins of BDSM–the overlap of pleasure and pain, and a history of BDSM in general. Granted, the book is relatively short and this is just one chapter of it, so the history is not very comprehensive.

Chapter 2 is titled Misconceptions About the Dynamic and Lifestyle and contains valuable pearls of wisdom such as, “Accept that BDSM is no laughing matter and it’s not a license to be a dick.” The author addresses common fallacies like whether or not BDSM is always about sex, if submissives have low self-esteem, and the fact that a D/s relationship is not just an excuse for rape or role-playing rape.

The author goes on in Chapter 3 to cover in more detail the difference between abuse and D/s–a topic we have also covered here on Sexpective. A D/s relationship is not a license to abuse. It is a relationship that is built on respect, trust, effective communication, and–most importantly–consent.

The meat of the book goes into more detail on the topic of being the Dominant in a Dominant / submissive or Master / slave type dynamic. It covers the role of the Master and the role of the slave–using those terms as umbrellas for dominance and submissiveness in general. The book is focused on the dominant point of view–hence the title–so the chapter on the role of the slave is approached from the perspective of what the dominant should know and understand about what a submissive generally wants or needs from the dynamic and how to explore and define that within your D/s or M/s relationship.

At only 108 pages, Dom’s Guide to BDSM – Vol 1 is more of a pamphlet than a book. On the other hand, the price is right and if you buy it along with Dom’s Guide to BDSM – Vol 2 and Dom’s Guide to BDSM – Vol 3 (reviews of each coming soon) the net result is a fairly comprehensive education in D/s relationships. If you buy the books on Kindle the whole series only costs about $15.

If you are new to BDSM and just trying to grasp D/s dynamics, this is an excellent place to start. Even if you’ve been around the lifestyle for awhile and think you know a thing or two already, you might learn a few things from Dom’s Guide to BDSM – Vol 1.